Are you wondering how to get through a divorce emotionally? You’re not alone. With over 2.2 million marriages in the U.S. each year, there are about 827,000 divorces every year.
Why do so many marriages end in divorce? And, how do you get through a divorce when you’re hurting and grieving?
HOW TO GET THROUGH A DIVORCE EMOTIONALLY:
Mourning the Loss of Your Marriage
Divorce can sometimes feel like a death. The absence of a spouse can leave you numb or grieving for several years.
If you don’t feel it now, you may feel the pain of divorce years later. A Huffington Post article stated divorce is like the
“destruction of the familiar: the structure of marriage, the family home, and loss of “self” in the role of partner.”
The Breach of Vows
For those that are religious, a marriage is supposed to last forever. You vowed to stay together forever. That’s why it’s hard to digest infidelity or abuse. But, how do you stay when your spouse is forcing you to leave or they want to end the marriage?
There are also unanswered questions and self-doubt that set’s in:
You might question where you went wrong or could you have done something better.
You may find it hard to get back into the dating pool.
You might put up an emotional wall to prevent yourself from being hurt again.
How can you trust anyone again when this was supposed to be forever?
When Your Dream Wedding Turns into a Nightmare 🧟
When people get married, they plan a dream wedding and expect they will stay together forever.
‘Til death do us part, right? But, statistics show the United States has a 41 percent divorce rate. That’s almost half.
Another problem is how long marriages are staying together.
One survey found that couples in the U.S. are only married for about 8 years. That’s it?
It’s no surprise that your dreams, hopes, and expectations can go up in flames when a moving truck pulls up and a spouse leaves. There may be shouting matches and fights in front of the kids. Emotional anxiety can wear on you for years to come. But, there’s hope. It does get better.
What Psychologists Recommend
According to Psychology Today, one way to look at divorce is to see it as freeing you from a disabling relationship so you can find one that’s more stable.
Here are a few tips to help you get through this difficult time so you can start fresh:
Don’t Beat Yourself Up Any Further: Why it’s Better to Move On
It’s been said that you don’t know someone until you live with them. If you found yourself in a marriage where your spouse was immature or playing psychological games, there may be an underlying cause.
A spouse may have an undiagnosed psychological disorder or childhood trauma they bring into a marriage.
Psychological disorders might include bipolar disorder or narcissism. Traumas might include them witnessing their parents fighting.
They may have also witnessed the absence of a parent in the home.
Start with Healing and Support Groups
Spouses in damaging relationships may want to start counseling. You’ll have a counselor or therapist to talk to. Group therapy support groups are recommended because you can witness how other people sort through their emotions to find healing.
Turn to Your Religious Organizations 🙏
Another way to find support is to turn to your religion. Some people find reading the Bible helps them forgive their spouse and themselves. They may find calming peace and clarity through prayer, Bible reading, and counseling.
Work Out Your Frustrations and Get Out More 😤
Getting back into the gym, taking a yoga class or meditation can reduce tension. Your body will produce “feel good” endorphins after a workout.
Other ideas to help you get moving in a new direction include:
Signing up for that new spinning class.
Working with a personal trainer. 🏃
Getting a new haircut and makeover. 💇
Shopping for a new wardrobe.
Starting a new cooking class. 🍳
Moving to a new city and starting a new job.
Attending a relaxing retreat or taking a calming cruise. 🚢
Get Rid of the Emotional Baggage and Open Your Mind to New Beginnings
Worried about emotional baggage and how it affects your kids? Authors like Marianne Williamson or Iyanla Vanzant offer great advice on healing and moving past broken relationships.
Lectures, videos, and reading materials are important when a marriage ends. You can heal from past hurts, close old wound, and start fresh.
How to Bounce Back from a Divorce and Find Greater Happiness
Closing out past hurts means you don’t peel the band-aid off a wound. It needs time to heal:
Give yourself time to grieve. Don’t isolate yourself.
Speak to a counselor or therapist to find closure.
Talk to friends and family. Find enjoyment in activities you like.
Don’t let a spouse’s philandering or abuse stop you from loving you. It was their mistake, not yours.
Conclusion
The end of a marriage doesn’t mean the end of you. A divorce closes one book and starts a new one. You owe it to yourself to have a greater fulfillment in life. Put your dancing shoes back on and learn to have fun again. You can get your bounce and groove back!
About The Law Offices of Matthew Kelly Associates: Matthew Kelly has helped represent families for over 25 years. If you’re facing a divorce, consult a reputable and experienced law firm that will fight for you. Contact Matthew Kelly Associates for a free consultation today.
Sources:
41 percent divorce rate, 8 years:
2.2 million marriages, 872,000 divorces:
Huffington post quote:
Psychology Today reference, 50 percent: